7 Tips for Freelancing with a Toddler in Tow

Photography by Daniel Hughes

Imagine you have a colleague at work who relentlessly needs your attention, messes up your keyboard (which makes your laptop freeze), is beyond filthy and has no personal boundaries? Working from home with a toddler is pretty much like this. In a shared office environment this person would probably have to visit HR but when your office is a corner, or at best a room, in your own home, you’ve got to somehow manage these tiny whirlwinds of energy!

It’s only after 18 months of tears, frustration and stamping feet (and I’m not on about my own toddler…) that I’ve been able to find ways to get through a day where emails have been answered and projects get completed. Here are my top 7 tips should you be on the verge of shipping your own tiny human off…

ONE / Work smarter, not faster

Since having Ophelia and having to really re-work my daily routine to accommodate her and work (which has shown me how actually un-adaptable I can actually be!) I genuinely can’t believe how little I got done before I had her. There’s something about having a 2-3 hour window everyday that gives you some serious laser focus; there’s no time to idle away on Instagram or claim you’re ‘researching’ when you’re head first in a Pinterest rabbit hole.

Nope, you’ve got to be pretty stern with yourself and get that list written out with the top priorities for those few hours. I’m on about important emails (deleting old ones can be done in ad breaks in the evening in front of the TV), making those phone calls that give you the hebe jeebies, cracking on with illustration projects.

The other stuff, the stuff I like to call the ‘chuff’ of being freelance can be done after it’s the little persons bedtime. Invoices need filing? Inbox need clearing? Social media posts need scheduling? Yep, those are perfect ‘sofa jobs’ which don’t require excellent daylight (if you’re an artist) or a desk.

You’ll be amazed with what you can achieve when you limit yourself to just a few hours!

TWO / Work around their schedule

This kind of ties in with the previous tip, but get to know your little person’s routine and make it work for you. If they have a regular time of day when you know they’ll get sleepy, then plan to get your work done in that nap time window.

I know I can’t get any work done when Ophelia is awake (save for a few orders but that is all she can tolerate before boredom hits!) so I always make sure that the time we spend together is just us time. And should it just be the activities we do exert her to the point of tiredness around her nap time then that’s a good coincidence too…

Don’t get me wrong - she’s not a robot and 50% of the time I’m winging it because the day just hasn’t planned out like I thought it would. That’s having children in a nutshell, but I just make sure I catch up when lights are out, which leads me on to…

THREE / You may have to become a night owl

I’ve always labelled myself a lark, and thought that I could only work in the morning and was a useless lump of lethargy by the afternoon. Well, let me tell you that’s just a story I used to tell myself. I’ve had no choice but to become a bit of a night owl since having Ophelia because there are days when there is no opportunity for me to sit down and focus on my work.

Sure I can post to Instagram or answer an email here and there whilst she’s awake, but the stuff that requires my full attention I can save till the evening now when she’s tucked up in bed resting.

FOUR / Get those boundaries in place

I’m very lucky to have a whole room as my studio in our house. A small corner of it does have some toys and a teepee for Ophelia to play in when I’m in there sorting orders but for the rest of the time it’s an out of bounds room. Aside from the fact that her little hands seem to manage to destroy everything in sight in the space of seconds, I want her to understand that that space is my work room and that the things that are in there (my laptop, stock, clients work) is very important and can’t be touched.

The joy of working for yourself is that you don’t have to adhere to strict hours, or dress code or office location, but sometimes there needs to be some boundaries so others can respect that what you do isn’t just a hobby (and I’m not just talking about kids here) and is in fact an important job.

FIVE / Be open and honest with your clients

There’s going to be a day when your child won’t nap, and they won’t just entertain themselves with a film for a few hours, and basically it will feel like they are out to destroy any plans you had for your day. Honesty is the best policy here.

I’ve had a few scheduled client calls which I’ve booked to be during Ophelia’s nap time and of course she’s decided to stay awake to mix all the play dough together (very important job). She’s at an age now where she does have a little understanding that when I’m on the phone, she needs to do her best ‘whispering voice’, however her mind loses focus quickly and so I may at best get 5 minutes with my client uninterrupted.

It’s best to just manage everyone’s expectations and be honest with your client. A very polite disclaimer at the beginning of your call or meeting to explain your situation, and to apologise in advance for any interruption will go a long way to helping ease any discomfort when your darling child starts to pipe up. 90% of the time clients are parents too, and they understand the trials and tribulations that come with it.

Still, it does make you die a little when it happens as you worry that it makes you look totally unprofessional. In that case, make sure you can book any extremely high profile client calls on a day when maybe your little human is out of the house and is screaming down someone else’s.

SIX / Make use of your Village

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I honestly believe that. We’re very fortunate to live close to our parents, all of whom are more than happy to watch Ophelia for me. Whether it’s for a whole day, or even just a morning, I am privileged to have that time carved out to just get work done.

And besides, it brings them joy too.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is nothing weak about it. You are a human, and you can’t do it all (as much as the media may tell you otherwise). Some work commitments and projects just need an empty house, and you don’t need to justify yourself to anyone.

If you don’t have the luxury of family nearby, why not ask a friend who has kids as well? Maybe one of the NCT mums you met when you were pregnant? Either way it makes a great playdate for your children, and great way for you to get your to do list completed. You can always return the favour to your pal another day and in turn give them a chance to a child free day!

SEVEN / Remember the amazing advantage you have…

In the end, it’s important to remember that not everyone gets to spend as much time with their kids when they’re young. Working from home with kids is hard, and it can be frustrating, but remember that you get to see more of the milestones than those parents who work outside the home.

You have this golden opportunity to be there for all the firsts, to hear them string new sentences together, and to enjoy things like going to the park/soft play/cafes/other fun stuff that you can’t do in an office. These young formative years can go so quickly, and to be a big presence in them is very important and musn’t be overlooked.

I hope these tips help in your journey into the world of freelancing and parenting simultaneously. If you have your own life saving tips I would love to hear them! Feel free to drop them in the comments below and hopefully it will help any other freelance parents out there!

Freelancing and Depression

There's a lot about freelancing which just shouldn't make sense to help depression. In fact, a lot of the elements that make up working from home, or for yourself, can be strong contributors to depression and anxiety; lack of human contact, unusual work hours and the ever ebb and flow of money have certainly been things that have contributed to my own depression. 

There is however this unique and hidden gift lying under the crying snotty panic and fear riddled mess you seem to become when you have depression, and that is that freelancing can be your saviour. 

I'm not trying to sell the notion that it will cure depression and anxiety, trust me, there is no sure fire cure. The cure is unfortunately inside yourself. However, from my experience freelancing has given me the rare opportunity to dust myself off and begin the ascent back to a world where you don't lose your shit over not cooking a risotto correctly (This has actually happened. I'll talk about that some other time.) 

So I present to you the top 6 elements of working for yourself that can help you in your depression:

 You can work to your schedule

Whether that is an emotional schedule, physical schedule, or an actual work load that needs to be handled, you have the flexibility to fit everything in to your day the way you want. The 9-5 grind is merciless and unforgiving to your sudden feelings of hopelessness that could crop up mid-meeting or even on an idle visit to the photocopier.

When you work from home you can work to the beat of your own drum, even if that drum is beating a little erratic one day and slow the next. 

 Flexibility for those all important appointments 

Let's face it, like any illness you need to get medical help if you want to make some sort of recovery. The mind is the same. I have CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and it's an absolute godsend. I love having someplace to go, once a week, where I feel I'm making a positive impact on my mental illness.

The time and day I go for my sessions would be a nightmare to arrange in an office job. And think of all that sick leave ... possibly no sick pay ... No thank you. Even if I'm not functioning even 80% of the time at work, at least I am able to make it into my home studio around my appointments and know that no other time was needed to be taken off. 

Cry ugly, freely - and then pick yourself up

I probably spent around 70-90% of my time crying when my depression was at it's worst. 50% of that time was bent over my keyboard sorting my emails which were getting backlogged. But that is totally ok.

There was no Janet from HR pulling me out to try and motivate me to pull it together so I could carry on with my day, or risk of causing a scene in front of my colleagues. I could cry and cry at my desk, and when I was all spent with crying I could carry on with what I was doing without anyone else passing judgement on it. 

No crazy boss or superior-other hanging over you

It's hard at the best of times to get work done when you have someone breathing down your neck, but when your depression is making you function less than productive, and you work for a big corporation, that can be an issue.

Now I'm guilty of not adhering to this advice because part of my present problem is that my perfectionism makes me my own cruel and unforgiving boss, however if you are a freelancer who loves the freedom from being your own boss then relish in this fact.

The only deadlines and targets are your own, and you make your workload as heavy or light as you need it. You don't have a quota to reach for someone else's profit, you can just work to your own values and goals without destroying your mental wellbeing. 

No clean laundry? Not washed your hair in weeks? You're golden

Everyone always goes to the standard stereotype of a freelancer being someone who gets to work in their pyjamas all day, and frankly I resent it because I loathe working in my pyjamas. I always endeavour to get dressed like I'm going out to work because it puts me in a good headspace.

But when your headspace is pretty foggy and full of negative thoughts and feelings it can be a comfort to know that life can still go on from your desk, even if you're not dressed for it. And even if you have to have an anxiety induced Skype call with a client you can be rest assured that you only need to be dressed for an hour and then normal service can resume.  

Remind yourself: You're living the dream

When you're having the darkest days, remember that you are working a job that (hopefully) brings you joy and is your passion. I have days when I doubt what I doing, the career I've chosen and what it all means. I doubt the choices I'm making, and berate myself for bad ones. But the one thing that lifts the dark clouds is a gentle reminder of the jobs I left behind, the ones that didn't bring me creativity, joy or diversity, and that now I'm not living that life. I'm living a life where I get to draw everyday. And that's something pretty special right? 

Remember though, if you do work in an office or salaried environment you do have rights regarding your mental health, including the right to not work in an environment where there is stigma attached to mental health. 

Make sure you don't suffer in silence. Have at least 3 people who know the ins and outs of what's going on so you don't feel the need to carry the heavy burden alone, if you're working in an office or from home. See them as your lifelines and trust them with your personal information. It makes all the difference between isolation and recovery. 

And if you are suffering from any of the topics covered above, or know someone who is, there is plenty of support out there. Organisations like Mind and The Blurt Foundation  have tons of information on their websites to help guide you in perhaps finding treatment or for helping a loved one. 

Sending out all the good vibes (even to myself),

Deborah x