7 Tips for Freelancing with a Toddler in Tow

Photography by Daniel Hughes

Imagine you have a colleague at work who relentlessly needs your attention, messes up your keyboard (which makes your laptop freeze), is beyond filthy and has no personal boundaries? Working from home with a toddler is pretty much like this. In a shared office environment this person would probably have to visit HR but when your office is a corner, or at best a room, in your own home, you’ve got to somehow manage these tiny whirlwinds of energy!

It’s only after 18 months of tears, frustration and stamping feet (and I’m not on about my own toddler…) that I’ve been able to find ways to get through a day where emails have been answered and projects get completed. Here are my top 7 tips should you be on the verge of shipping your own tiny human off…

ONE / Work smarter, not faster

Since having Ophelia and having to really re-work my daily routine to accommodate her and work (which has shown me how actually un-adaptable I can actually be!) I genuinely can’t believe how little I got done before I had her. There’s something about having a 2-3 hour window everyday that gives you some serious laser focus; there’s no time to idle away on Instagram or claim you’re ‘researching’ when you’re head first in a Pinterest rabbit hole.

Nope, you’ve got to be pretty stern with yourself and get that list written out with the top priorities for those few hours. I’m on about important emails (deleting old ones can be done in ad breaks in the evening in front of the TV), making those phone calls that give you the hebe jeebies, cracking on with illustration projects.

The other stuff, the stuff I like to call the ‘chuff’ of being freelance can be done after it’s the little persons bedtime. Invoices need filing? Inbox need clearing? Social media posts need scheduling? Yep, those are perfect ‘sofa jobs’ which don’t require excellent daylight (if you’re an artist) or a desk.

You’ll be amazed with what you can achieve when you limit yourself to just a few hours!

TWO / Work around their schedule

This kind of ties in with the previous tip, but get to know your little person’s routine and make it work for you. If they have a regular time of day when you know they’ll get sleepy, then plan to get your work done in that nap time window.

I know I can’t get any work done when Ophelia is awake (save for a few orders but that is all she can tolerate before boredom hits!) so I always make sure that the time we spend together is just us time. And should it just be the activities we do exert her to the point of tiredness around her nap time then that’s a good coincidence too…

Don’t get me wrong - she’s not a robot and 50% of the time I’m winging it because the day just hasn’t planned out like I thought it would. That’s having children in a nutshell, but I just make sure I catch up when lights are out, which leads me on to…

THREE / You may have to become a night owl

I’ve always labelled myself a lark, and thought that I could only work in the morning and was a useless lump of lethargy by the afternoon. Well, let me tell you that’s just a story I used to tell myself. I’ve had no choice but to become a bit of a night owl since having Ophelia because there are days when there is no opportunity for me to sit down and focus on my work.

Sure I can post to Instagram or answer an email here and there whilst she’s awake, but the stuff that requires my full attention I can save till the evening now when she’s tucked up in bed resting.

FOUR / Get those boundaries in place

I’m very lucky to have a whole room as my studio in our house. A small corner of it does have some toys and a teepee for Ophelia to play in when I’m in there sorting orders but for the rest of the time it’s an out of bounds room. Aside from the fact that her little hands seem to manage to destroy everything in sight in the space of seconds, I want her to understand that that space is my work room and that the things that are in there (my laptop, stock, clients work) is very important and can’t be touched.

The joy of working for yourself is that you don’t have to adhere to strict hours, or dress code or office location, but sometimes there needs to be some boundaries so others can respect that what you do isn’t just a hobby (and I’m not just talking about kids here) and is in fact an important job.

FIVE / Be open and honest with your clients

There’s going to be a day when your child won’t nap, and they won’t just entertain themselves with a film for a few hours, and basically it will feel like they are out to destroy any plans you had for your day. Honesty is the best policy here.

I’ve had a few scheduled client calls which I’ve booked to be during Ophelia’s nap time and of course she’s decided to stay awake to mix all the play dough together (very important job). She’s at an age now where she does have a little understanding that when I’m on the phone, she needs to do her best ‘whispering voice’, however her mind loses focus quickly and so I may at best get 5 minutes with my client uninterrupted.

It’s best to just manage everyone’s expectations and be honest with your client. A very polite disclaimer at the beginning of your call or meeting to explain your situation, and to apologise in advance for any interruption will go a long way to helping ease any discomfort when your darling child starts to pipe up. 90% of the time clients are parents too, and they understand the trials and tribulations that come with it.

Still, it does make you die a little when it happens as you worry that it makes you look totally unprofessional. In that case, make sure you can book any extremely high profile client calls on a day when maybe your little human is out of the house and is screaming down someone else’s.

SIX / Make use of your Village

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I honestly believe that. We’re very fortunate to live close to our parents, all of whom are more than happy to watch Ophelia for me. Whether it’s for a whole day, or even just a morning, I am privileged to have that time carved out to just get work done.

And besides, it brings them joy too.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. There is nothing weak about it. You are a human, and you can’t do it all (as much as the media may tell you otherwise). Some work commitments and projects just need an empty house, and you don’t need to justify yourself to anyone.

If you don’t have the luxury of family nearby, why not ask a friend who has kids as well? Maybe one of the NCT mums you met when you were pregnant? Either way it makes a great playdate for your children, and great way for you to get your to do list completed. You can always return the favour to your pal another day and in turn give them a chance to a child free day!

SEVEN / Remember the amazing advantage you have…

In the end, it’s important to remember that not everyone gets to spend as much time with their kids when they’re young. Working from home with kids is hard, and it can be frustrating, but remember that you get to see more of the milestones than those parents who work outside the home.

You have this golden opportunity to be there for all the firsts, to hear them string new sentences together, and to enjoy things like going to the park/soft play/cafes/other fun stuff that you can’t do in an office. These young formative years can go so quickly, and to be a big presence in them is very important and musn’t be overlooked.

I hope these tips help in your journey into the world of freelancing and parenting simultaneously. If you have your own life saving tips I would love to hear them! Feel free to drop them in the comments below and hopefully it will help any other freelance parents out there!

What Ophelia has taught me // #1

Illustration by Deborah Panesar ©

When I became a mother I knew that I would learn life lessons but I never anticipated how much they would filter in to other aspects of my life.

I liked to keep my ‘mother’ label mostly separate from my ‘freelance’ label, because I was almost defiant that I didn’t want to be defined as only a mother. I also didn’t want to share photos of Ophelia because she was such a special part of my life, that I selfishly treasured for my own, so it didn’t feel right to put her up on the internet everyday.

My PND also had me scared to be too vulnerable. I was afraid my followers would think I had given up on illustration, or that everyday I was going to be posting more and more content that they hadn’t signed up for.

Really though, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I still don’t greatly like sharing too many photos of Ophelia online (she can tell me when she’s older if she’s happy for me to share) but I have done a full 180 on how I feel about being too vulnerable/sharing personal content.

I cannot deny that this little human has changed me. She has shown me so much that I had forgotten in becoming an adult, and made me self aware as a friend, wife, daughter and sister. So I wanted to pay homage to that in a new blog series, showcasing some of the good, bad and ugly stuff that she has taught me in her short but wise life (so far).

#1 Rushing is futile

If you have a small child, it goes without saying that you’re guaranteed to be late for a lot of stuff. With so much to remember (especially when they’re really small, it’s like packing for a mini break) as well as making sure they have enough layers/options for weather/things to go to sleep with. You can guarantee they’ll fill their nappy right before you get out the door.

I spent a lot of time getting crazy frustrated with Ophelia; Why is she doing this to me? Why can’t she sit still? Why does she now decide to get upset about the shoes I’ve put on her feet?

Thing is she isn’t doing anything to me. Toddlers and babies have no concept of time so it is literally impossible for her to know that she’s making me late.

Really, I’m making myself crazy frustrated; I’m frustrated at myself for not giving myself enough time and I’m frustrated that I’m going to be turning up to wherever I’m going to as a palpitating, hot sweaty mess.

Yes, rushing is futile. The more I rush, the more stressed I get. The more stressed I get the more I forget. The more I forget the more cross I get at myself, and the more cross I get the sweatier I get (you see a sweaty pattern here?!).

So i’ve decided to stop rushing, in more aspects than one.

I’ve stopped rushing emails. Rushed emails have tons of mistakes and I know half the time they don’t make sense and I have probably not even attached the work I needed to send to the client.

I’ve stopped rushing work. If I have to put in a few more hours, then so be it. I’m not going to rush the quality of my work just because I now need to balance being a full time mum as well.

I’ve stopped rushing conversations. Nothing says ‘I’m not interested in what you have to say’ than when you have one eye on your phone for that email notification and one ear on your husband who is just trying to have a conversation with you after a long day.

I’ve stopped rushing my to-do list. This one’s a biggie. I used to think it was how much I got done rather than how good I got those things done. Quality over quantity > Quantity over quality. I’m now a little more accepting if I just get 1 thing done off my to-do list, so long as I’ve done it to the best of my ability and I feel confident that it’s finished.

Most importantly, I’ve stopped rushing Ophelia. She’s at an incredible age where the world is magic and everything that we see as mundane is a new discovery. I try my very best to give her the time to explore those little things, even if it’s a pine cone, a bus stop or to stand and wave to the man in the van. It really isn’t always possible, all the time, because sometimes I really do need to be somewhere! But it’s a goal I can strive for.

When I feel the need to rush well up in me, and I’m watching the hands on the clock move but my daughter isn’t, then I just try and take a very deep breath and think fuck it.

I’ll get there at some point, but right now is pretty good.

5 lies you shouldn't tell yourself as a freelancer...

Working for yourself is an absolute dream. It can be all of the stereotypes that people associate with it such as working in your PJ's, having your own schedule, being able to get up whenever you want but it can also have it's downsides like any good job. 

I've been freelancing for 6 years now and these tips are just my own observations and experiences, all of which I've learnt to work with in order to thrive. I hope they help you too! 

1. "Everyone else seems to have it sussed out..."

Ever thought you'd spend a good half an hour browsing Pinterest to get inspiration for a new client or project only to feel like a complete failure after those 30 minutes are up? Yep, happens to me at least once a month! Trouble is we are all just seeing the highlight reels of everyone's lives, and the real truth is that nothing of what they have achieved came quick or easy. Take the analogy of the road, the journey - your freelance career is just as such. It might all seem straight and clear, but there may be forks in the road or winds and bends that take you to places you weren't expecting...that's the joy of the journey. It's the experience. You will suss it all out too one day, and if not, take comfort in knowing that someone out there is looking at your work and painfully pining that you have it all sussed out....

2. "I should say yes to every project"

This is a massive temptation especially when cashflow is dry, but ask yourself some simple questions and you should never really go too wrong:

1. Does this project align with my own ethos and working ethic? 
2. Does it actually pay my time? 
3. Are they asking for my creative talent, or for someone to copy someone else's work? 

I've had many experiences where I've been quite desperate for money to pay rent that I was considering getting paid a pittance, to copy someone else's style, to maybe pay a quarter of said rent. In the end I knew it was wrong and not what I wanted to be associated with. I politely declined the work to the client (albeit thinking I was an absolute lunatic at the time)  but within a few weeks a dream client came along. The universe knows and will always balance itself. Never sell yourself short. 

3.  "I should be working like [Insert amazing designer/illustrator/freelancer's name here]

Working like this will only bring you down and make you feel like a fraud. Live genuine and work genuine! If a client doesn't like your style and wants you to work like another illustrator/designer/freelancer, then they aren't your target market. Think about that for a moment, because the world is crammed full of 7.4 billion people and within all those bodies there will be someone who aligns themselves with the product you're offering. Sure, said amazing designer who you think you should work like is raking it in and has the big clients, but that is their story, not yours. Carve your own path and see what trails you can blaze. 

4. "I need to be working X amount a hours a day."

Did you know that the 9-5 working day was only introduced during the Industrial Revolution to prevent people working 15 hour days? Since then this has stuck, but there are people in the world who only work 4 hour days and still achieve a lot. There is no hard and fast rule for how you should work but only you know how you work best. If you know you can only do your best work in the AM then get up early and hustle. We're all individuals and we all function differently. 

Studies have shown that people tend to work best in 90 minute work cycles, so if you are struggling to get work done but not burn yourself out, try working 90 minutes then break for 20, and repeat. I personally work better when I set myself a target time to work to and see it as a challenge to see how much I can complete in that time. 

5. "When I'm not doing client work I'm not actually working." 

This one I am the WORST for. We all need to remember that we work in creative fields as freelancers. Our jobs need to be nurtured with development and inspiration. So you think that visiting a museum or reading a design magazine isn't working? I'm here to tell you to try and see it differently because this is essentially visual nourishment for your brain. 

How can you evolve and grow as a creative if you don't stay ahead of the curve? How can you bring innovative and exciting projects to clients if you don't go out into the world and drink in all it has to offer? Staying inside and furiously scanning the internet is one tool to finding inspiration, but you will find nothing better than out in the wild, on the streets, in a conversation with a likeminded friend or within the pages of a book you never thought you'd read. Most of my ideas have come to me when I'm not trying to be in work mode, when I'm relaxed and exploring. 

So give yourself a break. If drawing can become a paid job, that defies peoples perceptions of what a job is, then research is just another facet of that gem. 

Now it's over to you guys! Have you made any realisations within your self-employed or freelance career? Feel free to share them below or tweet them to me @deborahpanesar using the hashtag #freelancelies 

Deborah x

Illustration as Meditation

A big HOORAH as this is not only the first official day of launching my new website but also my first post on my new integrated swanky blog! For my first post I wanted to talk about 2 of my greatest passions and what it means to have them work together.

I discovered illustration 10 years ago and meditation 10 months ago, however it’s only in the past few months that I’ve actually started to appreciate a unique correlation between the two.

Work in Flow

The idea started to form when I began re-reading Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.  Mihaly discovered the concept of ‘flow’, a highly concentrated mental state where time vanishes and other external factors do not distract us. When we are totally absorbed in what we are doing, present and accounted for, we find joy and happiness even in the most challenging and uncomfortable of situations.

The very words of being ‘present’ and ‘concentrated’ are also associated with meditation and mindfulness. I’ve had only two meditative experiences where I have been completely lost in the breaths, in being aware of my body and the environmental sounds around me. So much so it took me a while to come out of that calm state.

This exact experience has also happened when I’ve had a very challenging or complicated illustration to complete and I’ve found that my mind isn’t necessarily blank or empty, but it’s simply being. Observing. Letting me just work and peacefully letting external brain chatter diminish.

Creating a Practise

The more I started to notice it, the more I actually started to cultivate it. Like a meditive practise. Letting my mind have those doubtful or scared thoughts pop in if work isn’t going right and simply letting them be, acknowledging them, and moving forward with my work.

Allowing myself to keeping pushing through with it no matter how busy or crowded my thoughts were getting, I wouldn’t let them paralyse me from making progress.

Now I apply all that I’ve learnt so far from meditation and use it in my illustration practise. Here are some ways you can do it too:

1. Have you ever been too scared to start a piece of work?

We’ve been there, and it’s not fun. Acknowledge that, take a step back and focus on your breaths to help you just begin. Every meditation practise starts the same. As a human you can’t go from 0-60 and expect for it to work. Much like getting comfortable and emptying your mind before a meditation, do this before starting a new project.  

2. If you’re working and not necessarily gripped with what you’re doing, you may feel your mind start to wander to checking your phone, Facebook or googling the first curious thought that pops into your head.

Once again, take a step back and let those feelings be.

Once you’ve brought your mind back to the task at hand begin again by listening to your breath, external music (if that helps you work) or even just sounds around you. I personally love rainy days as those are my most productive. I have the window open and just listen to the rain, it’s the natural white noise I need to stay focussed.

3. Like a timed meditation practise, time your illustration work.

Set a timer for 60 minutes knowing that afterwards you can go make a tea, check your phone or step outside for a moment. Work, and meditation, flows better when you make structured time rather than loose and unstructured promises.

4. Have regular moments where you become mindful of that present moment.

Perhaps you’ve had a terrible email, or you’ve been having a string of bad luck with work and you’re feeling lack lustre with it.

Take a moment to mindfully stock take everything that you have in your life at that very minute; a loving husband or wife, a warm home filled with your own treasures, a wonderful text message from a friend. It can be a cliché, but if you’re sincere with it you’ll find that those negative interruptions in your day are not worthy of your energy when you have a lot of things to be grateful for.  

Keep Practising!

Practising these four simple steps will open a whole heap of benefits for you, much like meditation too. 

You may feel yourself become less stressed as you work, that the number of times you have negative thoughts in the day will diminish, or simply that you will have more mental energy to tackle other problems. Whatever the benefit, meditation is a proven practise for improving mental and physical health. It’s saved me from many years of depression and anxiety, and I work hard every day to work on at least 10 minutes of meditation.

If you find that right now 10 minutes is not a possibility, try the above steps to integrate meditation into your workday. Sometimes the simple act of just stopping in your tracks before your thoughts runaway with you is a good starting point in feeling empowered with your emotions.  

Now it’s over to you guys!

How do you stay focussed and calm in your workday? Do you work to a meditation practise or do you find other methods work just as well? Please leave your comments below to start the conversation or if you feel like spreading the word feel free to tweet and share below.

Deborah  

Extra Tools:

• Download the Headspace app for free and try ten minutes of meditation a day for 10 days!
• Read The Little Book Of Mindfulness for pocket sized pick-me-ups. 
• Listen to guided meditations thanks to Free Buddhist Audio - download them to your phone or mp3 player and plug in for instant meditations.