House of Illustration Summer Fair

SUPER excited to announce that I have got in (again!) to the House of Illustration Summer Fair!

I did it for the first time last year at Christmas, and as well as meeting some amazing illustrators (including a long lost relative Aleesha Nandhra!) I got to chat to all you love humans who support and believe in the Illustration industry.

So I’ll be back this year, Saturday 13th July at The Crossing (near Granary Square) bringing my cards, prints and stationery, as well as my Eat Kind kitchen collection!

Hope to see you there!

Eat Kind Tea Towels

Brand new to my Etsy Shop - Eat Kind Tea Towels

Well, as the young and trendy say nowadays, it’s been a minute hasn’t it?!

It’s been 8 Months since my last blog post, and suffice to say it’s been pretty busy!

Unfortunately my Eat Kind Kickstarter was a nonstarter, however I wasn’t going to let that stop me.

The shopping planners have been so well received, and I’ve loved seeing how everyones been using them to plan their meals and reduce their waste. So I decided to try and make another element of the Kickstarter come to life and those were the tea towels!

My Eat Kind tea towels are neutral, making them a perfect accessory for any kitchen style.

Still in keeping with my environmentally friendly theme, I was so pleased to find a tea towel printer here in the UK. Seeing the design come to life on the fabric, when it had always lived on my iPad (where I had created it), was such a lovely moment. After all it’s been stuck in the digital format for nearly a year.

Close up of the print detail.

This collection has really been born from my love of not only cooking, but the environment as well. ‘Eat Kind’ is not just about being Vegetarian or Vegan - it’s about making conscious decisions about what food you choose, and being aware of where it’s come from, what impact it makes to our planet, and consequently what changes we can make to help care for it.

Full design of my new tea towels.

Currently available through my Etsy shop, I’ll be seeing how well these new designs work with the hope of bringing them to my online shop and eventually wholesale.

In the meantime, you can purchase them HERE.

As always I would love to hear your feedback! Let me know what you think of my new product via the comments below.

'Eat Kind' Kickstarter Campaign

After 3 months in the making, and with multiple hurdles to jump over to even get it launched, I am pretty excited to finally share with you my Kickstarter campaign for a whole new product range!

Some of you who may follow me on Instagram have probably seen my various InstaStories sharing all my cooking experiments. Thing is, I hadn’t ever really been a massive ‘cook’ until Ophelia was around 5 months old and was starting on her baby-led weaning journey.

I loved to try new things, and was always aiming for a balanced and healthy diet (especially whilst I was pregnant!) but once I started having to think about how I was going to give Ophelia a truly balanced and nutritional diet, as well as a fun and interactive weaning experience, I began to research and cook more.

Her weaning experience really made me look at the food I was making for myself and my husband, and the cooking just naturally spread to our meal times.

It was purely through this phase that I started to love being in the kitchen, and so, selfishly, wanted to create a collection to help me plan meals, cook and shop for all my ingredients. Not just that, I really wanted it to reflect our Vegetarian/Vegan lifestyle that was kind to the environment too.

And so the ‘Eat Kind’ collection was born!

What’s included in the collection?

100% Screen Printed Cotton Tea Towels

Printed on natural and 100% cotton, these black and white tea towels will feature my botanical illustration surrounding a custom typeface that I have created for the collection, 'Eat Kind'. 

• These are a nod to anyone who believes that the choices we make on our plate can help the world around us. 

• A neutral addition to any kitchen, they will fit perfectly into any decor. 

• Each tea towel measures 70cm x 50 cm

I will be having these printed with a British manufacturer, and they will be packaged lovingly with recycled card wrap in a biodegradable sleeve. 

 Weekly Shopping Planner 

Completely inspired by my weekday shop, this has been created to not only help with remembering the bread and milk, but to help inspire to try cooking something new or batch cook to save for a day when you don't feel like getting the pans out!

Key features:

• Printed on 80gsm recycled paper, each pad has 50 sheets and has been secured by glue at the top on a hardback board. 

• Each pad measures at A4 size: 21cm x 29.7cm

• Each sheet features lines for your list, plus sections for planning meals for the week, a 'This week I'll Try' section and '3 pantry recipe's' section.

• 'This week I'll try...' is there to inspire you! Be brave and pop a recipe on there that you never thought you could do. (Mine was sausage rolls and I overcame it!)

• '3 Pantry Recipes' section is for noting down what you need to stock up in the freezer or cupboard; ours is usually peanut butter, scones (for lunch) and ice lollies but it can also be bread, stock, and overnight oats to name a few!

• At the bottom of the sheet is also a helpful reminder to not forget your bags! It saves you money, and saves on plastic going out into the environment. 

Once printed, these pads will feature a recycled belly band (paper band) that will wrap around the pad before being sealed in biodegradable cellophane bag.

Screen Printed Fairtrade Cotton Grocery Bags,

Designed to help get your grocery shopping in order, each of these tote bags has been illustrated to help pack your Bakery, Fruit, Milk & Dairy and Vegetables. These are really handy for making sure that your shopping stays in tact (nothing worse than a crushed punnet of strawberries!) without wondering where you put everything! 

• Tote bag dimensions are 27 cm wide x 37 cm high x 12 cm deep.

• Tote bags are of 407gsm weight making them very strong and sturdy!

• My custom illustrations will be screenprinted onto the bags, and will feature a recycled swing tag with care instructions, hanging from the handles. 

Like the tea towels, these bags will be printed with the same UK manufacturer, and will come packaged in a biodegradable cellophane sleeve. 

The Kickstarter Campaign

So, like many other crowdfunding campaigns I am of course trying to raise the money to make this collection a reality. I’m looking to raise £4,000 by 10th November which will go towards not only the manufacturing of the products, but also printing of all the environmentally friendly packaging.

This collection will be my first ever to be made from 100% recycled and biodegradable packaging. It’s my hope that if this is a success, I will transition this huge change into all products across my shop.

If you would like to read more about my campaign, as well as to see what kind of rewards I have on offer for anyone who pledges money to the campaign, then you can see it all here.

And if you feel compelled to do so, please share this project with your loved ones! It takes a few moments but it truly does help to spread the word around.

As always, whatever you do, do it with kindness.

What Ophelia has taught me // #1

Illustration by Deborah Panesar ©

When I became a mother I knew that I would learn life lessons but I never anticipated how much they would filter in to other aspects of my life.

I liked to keep my ‘mother’ label mostly separate from my ‘freelance’ label, because I was almost defiant that I didn’t want to be defined as only a mother. I also didn’t want to share photos of Ophelia because she was such a special part of my life, that I selfishly treasured for my own, so it didn’t feel right to put her up on the internet everyday.

My PND also had me scared to be too vulnerable. I was afraid my followers would think I had given up on illustration, or that everyday I was going to be posting more and more content that they hadn’t signed up for.

Really though, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I still don’t greatly like sharing too many photos of Ophelia online (she can tell me when she’s older if she’s happy for me to share) but I have done a full 180 on how I feel about being too vulnerable/sharing personal content.

I cannot deny that this little human has changed me. She has shown me so much that I had forgotten in becoming an adult, and made me self aware as a friend, wife, daughter and sister. So I wanted to pay homage to that in a new blog series, showcasing some of the good, bad and ugly stuff that she has taught me in her short but wise life (so far).

#1 Rushing is futile

If you have a small child, it goes without saying that you’re guaranteed to be late for a lot of stuff. With so much to remember (especially when they’re really small, it’s like packing for a mini break) as well as making sure they have enough layers/options for weather/things to go to sleep with. You can guarantee they’ll fill their nappy right before you get out the door.

I spent a lot of time getting crazy frustrated with Ophelia; Why is she doing this to me? Why can’t she sit still? Why does she now decide to get upset about the shoes I’ve put on her feet?

Thing is she isn’t doing anything to me. Toddlers and babies have no concept of time so it is literally impossible for her to know that she’s making me late.

Really, I’m making myself crazy frustrated; I’m frustrated at myself for not giving myself enough time and I’m frustrated that I’m going to be turning up to wherever I’m going to as a palpitating, hot sweaty mess.

Yes, rushing is futile. The more I rush, the more stressed I get. The more stressed I get the more I forget. The more I forget the more cross I get at myself, and the more cross I get the sweatier I get (you see a sweaty pattern here?!).

So i’ve decided to stop rushing, in more aspects than one.

I’ve stopped rushing emails. Rushed emails have tons of mistakes and I know half the time they don’t make sense and I have probably not even attached the work I needed to send to the client.

I’ve stopped rushing work. If I have to put in a few more hours, then so be it. I’m not going to rush the quality of my work just because I now need to balance being a full time mum as well.

I’ve stopped rushing conversations. Nothing says ‘I’m not interested in what you have to say’ than when you have one eye on your phone for that email notification and one ear on your husband who is just trying to have a conversation with you after a long day.

I’ve stopped rushing my to-do list. This one’s a biggie. I used to think it was how much I got done rather than how good I got those things done. Quality over quantity > Quantity over quality. I’m now a little more accepting if I just get 1 thing done off my to-do list, so long as I’ve done it to the best of my ability and I feel confident that it’s finished.

Most importantly, I’ve stopped rushing Ophelia. She’s at an incredible age where the world is magic and everything that we see as mundane is a new discovery. I try my very best to give her the time to explore those little things, even if it’s a pine cone, a bus stop or to stand and wave to the man in the van. It really isn’t always possible, all the time, because sometimes I really do need to be somewhere! But it’s a goal I can strive for.

When I feel the need to rush well up in me, and I’m watching the hands on the clock move but my daughter isn’t, then I just try and take a very deep breath and think fuck it.

I’ll get there at some point, but right now is pretty good.

Hawaaian Shirts From a Small Danish Island

One of the main reasons I love being a freelance illustrator is that I literally never know what I’m going to find in my inbox. I get a lot of requests, some bizarre, and some curious, and some just plain amazing. This project was definitely the latter.

When I heard from Niels, founder of Godâ Skjorter, his vision was simple but also quirky; create Hawaiian style shirts using landmarks from the small Danish island of Bornholm. I wondered how well the muted and nordic coastline, buildings and smoked fish would translate into a Hawaiian shirt homage but it didn’t take me long to find out.

As soon as I started drawing the elements and piecing them together, the more I started to see his vision. And it was wonderful.

I was so enamoured with the landmarks I was drawing, I was wishing I too could visit there. It just looked so beautiful, and perhaps one day we will make it there and I can tell Ophelia, ‘Mummy drew that on a shirt’.

Now seeing the print translated onto fabric, it has taken a new life of it’s own. I’m excited for Niels’ venture, not just because it’s his brainchild and that’s a precious thing, but also because it’s always special to meet someone who has a true passion for where they live.

Take a look at Niels’ website to see more details on these lovely shirts, as well as to take a peek at another artists interpretation of the Bornholm magic.

Halloween Dreams

My favourite season is almost upon us, which has got me very excited to release something new into my shop; my Spiritual Alchemy Chiffon Scarf.

My mum was actually the inspiration behind creating these luxury scarves. She’s an amazing seamstress and she really wanted to help bring my illustrations to life in scarf format. When I told her that I was desperate to get this all seeing eye design onto something, she only went and found the most gorgeous black lace to edge it. I mean seriously, she gets me.

So I am very proud to show off these beautiful chiffon scarves, designed by myself and made by my beautiful mum in her countryside sewing room.

If you’re not big into costumes for Halloween (that’s me) but love living the darker side of life (yep, still me!) then these scarves will be the perfect accessory to throw on for a trip to the pub on All Hallows Eve.

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And if you don’t fancy going so bold with pattern, I have smaller products that also feature this design plus other spooky illustrations.

All Seeing Eye Pocket Mirror

A little bit of mysticism for your handbag.

A6 mini sketchbooks

available in 5 designs including my Spiritual Alchemy print, Bones and Bats.

Wishing you all a happy Autumn guys and ghouls!

Pricing is Hard, And Here's Why...

It’s been a little quiet round these parts, due mostly to the fact that we are now homeowners! It's been exciting, scary, liberating and stressful all at the same time, but more than that it's been taking up all my attention and so my to-do list has been getting longer and longer. 

One thing that I managed to tackle once we finally unpacked and got our electrics/cooker/heating/water sorted (I will save this for another blog post, another day!) was to finally update my Etsy! 

Whilst all the craziness of the house move was going on, Etsy had been going through some changes as well, changes that meant I needed to do some serious housekeeping on my prices.

To start, they had decided to shut down the wholesale side to the Etsy business, something that I was a part of. This didn't upset me much at all, partly due to the fact that I didn't get many wholesale orders through it, but mainly because this meant I could finally put my shop back into GBP. 

You see, the main stipulation for being able to take part in the Etsy Wholesale program was that you had to convert your shop into USD. This meant that my UK based shop would then convert the USD into GBP and so create annoying prices like £3.78 instead of £3.50. I put up with it for the whole 3 years I had it because, as with anything in business, I had invested money into it and I had to see it through to get that money back. That's just how stubborn I am! 

However I am now so happy to say that my shop is finally back into whole rounded numbers, which makes shopping so much easier for you guys. There's nothing I find more annoying, and also a bit suspicious, about a shop who has strangely priced items - it almost gives off a whiff of not knowing how to price your items, and even like you're just throwing any old number out there to see if it sticks! 

Which leads me nicely onto the second massive Etsy update that happened whilst I was polyfillering my bathroom; Etsy now offer sellers subscription platforms which offer different incentives to help grow their business. 

As with being frustratingly stubborn, I'm also happy to jump onto any new bandwagon to give it a go. I knew that Etsy were going to be increasing their commission percentage for their sellers, so had prepared myself for having to rework my pricing and figures.

In taking on a paid monthly subscription to help my business along I also knew this cost would had to be covered so I did the math, crunched the numbers, and fretted a lot to get to the point where I went and increased some of the prices on my site. 

Eek. 

It's hard for me to sit and type this to you because I feel like I must justify myself for my decision, however, I realised that in doing this exercise I was not being fair to myself. I am CRAZILY going to attached a screenshot of how I calculate my prices to show you, for transparency:

So this example is for my A6 notebooks which are now £6.50 up from £5.

This section shows how much each element of making my notebooks costs me + the Etsy transaction/sellers fees + overheads. This is then divided by the number of items I make approximately each year...

Next, I then calculate how much I'll get paid an hour (note, my wage is the standard Living Wage for outside London). These two sets of figures then create my breakeven price - this is the price I would have to sell at just cover the bare minimums, and this doesn't even cover my mortgage, or profit in order to invest in new business. 

Hope you're following me so far! So now here's the nitty gritty because this is where I get my grubby greedy paws to put on profit. This profit is what is going to help keep the lights on, feed and clothe my kid, pay my mortgage and most importantly keep my business running. 

Now as you can see, I've only gone for a 130% profit margin to see to you guys - why? Because I want to make sure that I can offer not only a good price to everyone, but also a fair price to my wholesalers. I'm not even getting 130% profit from my wholesalers, as from them I would only get 115%. That's not a lot really, when you think there are huge companies who manufacture abroad and have 800 - 1000% mark ups!

Pricing is a tricky thing right? I want to make you guys happy, and to respect your wallet. And I also want to make my wholesalers happy, and respect that they too have a shop and a dream they want to keep running. I want to give everyone the best chance at winning. But I also have a home to run, a child to care for, and bills that stack up.

Sorry, I need to do some winning too!

I wish I didn't have to justify my prices to those mean customers who seem to think that what I offer isn't good value (erm, hello?! They're custom illustrated!) and obviously that's not you guys (I love you guys!) but I thought it would be somewhat cathartic and terribly open to just show exactly what goes in to pricing every little thing in my Etsy shop, even those tiny products that you wouldn't even think would be a bother. 

It's hard. Really hard. And I still cringe every time someone asks how much something is at one of my craft stalls! So I hope that by showing you this very private thing that no one likes to talk about (people don't like to talk about money do they?!) it may give you guys an understanding on where, how and why I have come to increase some of my prices. 

Feel free to head to my shop and take a look, and by all means I totally appreciate your feedback on this very sensitive subject. I love running my business, and of course creating on a daily basis so I hope that this little increase will not deter you all from stopping by and having a shop. 

Much love on this rainy sunday,

P.s. If you have found the spreadsheet I used enlightening for sorting your prices, then check out the Etsy handbook which is where I downloaded an old template from. It's easy and straightforward to use, and has really helped me get my head around pricing and overheads!

30 Things I've Learnt before 30

Today I turn the big 3-0!

When I was 18 I used to imagine how much I would dread this day. However, when I was 18 I hadn't yet met Avnish and my view of the world was small and unknown. I saw myself by 30 living alone with a herd of cats and I was actually OK with that. I had resigned myself to my imagined fate because I didn't believe I had much going for me and didn't believe that others would see something special in me (don't worry, this blog post will cheer up I promise!) 

Now I am here and about to cross over into my 30's I've been looking back and reflecting on what an amazing 3 decades it's been and also what utter tosh I used to convince myself of. 

So here is a list I've compiled of 30 things I've learnt before 30 - perhaps you're about to make the leap into this next epoch too (big up 80's kids) and maybe you're dreading it. Or perhaps you're in your twenties (big up 90's kids) and you're thinking your life is about to end at the 30 mark. 

I'm here to tell you it's just beginning. 

So, shall we begin? 

1. You don't need to have got everything sussed out by 30. Where has this milestone come from? Most famous people didn't reach their potential or goals until in their thirties or even forties, or fifties (Vera Wang, Samuel L. Jackson and even Charles Darwin are amongst these). So much of your 20's is just trying to figure out how to adult and make sense of the world. 
2. People really don't care what you're doing/wearing/listening to
3. You too will start to not care about what you're doing/wearing/listening to when you realise point 2
4. Job success does not necessarily = life success
5. Having a highly paid job will NOT bring you happiness long term
6. Mediate whenever you can
7. Do one thing a year that completely terrifies you. Helps keep stuff in perspective. 
8. You will lose some friends along the way, but that doesn't make you a bad person. It's no ones fault, it's just life flowing.
9. No one teaches you how to do a tax return and they really bloody should at school
10. By the time you reach your late twenties it's less about needing to fit in and more about how much you can stand out
11. Switch off your phone for a whole day. It will help you live longer
12. Be brave. Bullies don't disappear as an adult and they come in many disguises. 
13. Regularly check in with yourself to make sure that what you're doing (work/relationship/actions) aligns with your core values
14. You will survive stuff you never thought you could
15. Move and keep moving
16. Walk as much as you can and learn the map and history of where you live. We just coexist and don't build communities or tether ourselves to our past. Let's reconnect. 
17. When you buy from a local store or independent, you're truly making a difference to the world.
18. People project their feelings onto you; try not to absorb too much
19. Forget life plans because they don't work. Plus, life is way more fun when you chuck the road map and see where the road takes you
20. It's ok to not be doing what your friends are or what your family think you should be. They're advising you on their life experience (as I am) and it doesn't necessarily apply to you.
21. A degree isn't everything. No one, as of yet, has asked me what I got and all I have is a huge debt to pay. 
22. Be kind to one another. Fundamental life rule that really isn't hard to do. 
23. Go and call that relative/friend you haven't spoken to in a while. I bet they miss you, and just the fact you've contacted them will brighten their day and make you feel the good feels.
24. Live as slow as you can so you can take it in before it passes you by
25. Children make the world a brighter place, but whatever you pour your heart into it will do the same thing. So don't beat yourself up if you don't want/can't have children (and I'm talking to the ladies who have their biological clock reminded to them by 'helpful' friends and family.)
26. Know that at any point, you can change course and start a new adventure
27. Get sleep, because if you decide to start a family you're going to miss it
28. No seriously, get sleep because it's so damn good for you
29. Get off Facebook. No one likes having their data stolen and life will go on. 
30. And if all else fails, just listen to this by Baz Luhrmann.

Where I am today is a million miles away from what my 18 year old self had depressingly predicted, and I am eternally grateful with the lot that I have been given. Who knows what the next 30 years will hold - I mean, I could become a grandmother in that time! - but I'm looking forward to learning, growing and just sharing the adventure with my loved ones.

No one in this world has it all sussed out, and we're all just muddling along together. 

So here's an imaginary blog post toast to me (HBD) and to you guys! 

P.S To celebrate I'm offering 30% off in my Etsy and Shop until Sunday 17th June. Just use the code DIRTY30 at the checkout! 

MediCity Mural

More and more often I'm getting asked to paint murals for many different building for many purposes; signage, decorative display and statement wall pieces. However my latest wall mural piece is by far the biggest to add to my repertoire. 

Measuring 6 metres wide by 3 metres high, this mural of a lush green British landscape has found a new home at the Grade 1 listed MediCity building in Nottingham. 

I won't lie and tell you this piece was a breeze, because as they say, all great things are by far the most challenging! Creating digital files that can scale up beautifully to such a large size was part of the problem, especially when your work isn't vector! However husband-graphic-designer-genius Avnish helped me immensely to navigate around Illustrator in order to vectorise my work, and once we solved that problem the rest fell into place.

The next challenge though was seeing the finished print. Was the design going to come out pixellated? Would it fit the exact measurements of the wall? Poor Avnish was on tenterhooks on fitting day, but amid his hidden anxiety he managed to capture some beautiful time lapses of the piece going up. The finished article? Well, watch for yourself: 

It's been such a privilege to work on this mural piece for the BioCity team; not only did they have the faith in me to produce such a large, detailed, and risky piece, but they also have given me the amazing opportunity to have my illustration work permanently in a Grade 1 listed Art Deco building. 

I mean, how many people can say that?!

Have a browse through the gallery below to see more shots from the installation day. I would love to know what you think so feel free to drop me a message or leave a comment below!

Pint of Science Festival 14-16 May

About half a year ago the wonderful Creative Reactions team got in touch to see if I fancied creating some artwork based on scientific research, as part of the upcoming Pint of Science Festival, and of course my answer was a resounding YES. I am a typical 'right brained' individual however I love science and all it's amazing discoveries, especially anything to do with the brain! There is especially a beauty in marrying together those 2 hemispheres, right and left, to produce a little bit of magic, and that's just what myself and Dr. Martha Skinner did.  

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A research fellow in Sensory Science, Dr. Skinners research looks into taste; how we perceive it, how strongly others can experience it compared to others, and also how it can be affected with heat. 

“Why do our food worlds differ? Have you ever wondered why others do not share your love of a favourite food? We know food preferences vary greatly across the population. Could you be a Supertaster? Or maybe you’re part of the 20-50% of the population who are termed ‘thermal tasters’ as they perceive phantom taste sensations when their tongue is warmed or cooled, in absence of any true chemical tastes in the mouth.”

— Dr. Martha Skinner

Martha's talk, which was held at the Angel microbrewery, discussed novel approaches used to understand individual variation in taste perception using sensory science and neuroimaging techniques to measure both perceived and brain response to taste. 

I was quite sad I didn't get to see Martha's talk, or others that were held across the city (and the world!) but I was really pleased with the piece I created for her that represented her research.

And who knew the brain and tongue papillae could be so beautiful to draw?  

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Pint of Science is an annual science festival that takes place every May and brings researchers to your local pub to present their scientific discoveries.

Creative Reactions is a collaboration between artists and Pint of Science scientists to produce artworks related to the science presented during Pint of Science. It was started in Cambridge during Pint of Science 2015 and proved a major success, and subsequently in 2016  and 2017.

In 2018 Creative Reactions events were held in Bristol, Cambridge, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Kent, Manchester, Nottingham Portsmouth and York. Each event has a different format - some following a traditional Pint of Science evening and others full art exhibitions with the artwork for sale. 

Handmade Fair Giveaway

[EDIT: 6/4/18]

It's just over a month to go till the Handmade Fair at Ragley Hall, and whilst I still have lots (if not all) prep to do, I'm really excited to share a super giveaway with you! 

The lovely people at The Handmade Fair have gifted me 5 complimentary tickets to give away to my wonderful customers, thats you guys! These free tickets give you free entry to the fair, to enjoy the shopping village (where I'll be) plus some quirky food and drink stands. Should you so wish to upgrade to the full experience ticket, for a reduced fee, you will then be able to enjoy entry to one Super Theatre, Grand Make, and Skills Workshop of your choice.  

Never heard of the Handmade Fair? 

Aside from being a fun day out, the Fair is packed with opportunities to get creative and learn from the experts in craft. The Super Theatre will be hosted by Kirstie Allsopp each day and will be featuring exciting talks from some of the country’s best-loved creatives including Keith Brymer Jones, Edith Bowman, Anthony Devine and more. Plus, with a programme full of hands-on workshops, live demo’s and Q&As to choose from across the weekend, you’ll be sure to come away feeling inspired, and with a bundle of skills and knowledge to take home.

Sounding good? Entering the giveaway is quite simple; you can enter twice by either subscribing to my mailing list, or by leaving a comment on this blog post describing what you would love to see me selling at the fair. 

Boring bits; by subscribing to my mailing list through this giveaway you are agreeing to receiving email communications from myself. You can however unsubscribe at any time if you decide my emails are not for you, and I promise to NEVER share your details with anyone else or send you spam. 

Giveaway closes on the 9th April 12am GMT and winners will be announced on the 10th April 8pm GMT

Good luck!

Choosing the path less Notonthehighstreet

If you have been following me on Instagram recently, you may have seen my frustrated InstaStories detailing some strange and rather unacceptable behaviour from that well known online selling platform: Notonthehighstreet. 

Last month I received this email in my inbox:

Ouch. The 'low sales performance' part got me feeling that sweaty nervous feeling you would get at school when you knew you hadn't done the homework and you'd been rumbled. However, let's not forget the little human I birthed into the world - I think it's safe to say my time was more tied up in keeping her alive than worrying about my sales performance.

The 'completing the form' section then switched up my guilt from feeling like a 'seemingly pathetic businesswoman who has poor sales and has been reminded of her failures' to a 'businesswoman who is now being asked to jumped through hoops after being insulted'. 

Why does this fill me with anger?

Because for the past year NOTHS have made it increasingly difficult to be able to just list items to trial on the site. There were specific guidelines and trends to adhere to as well as strict photography rules. Generally, it made the whole process 10x longer to list one print, than, say, to list said print on Etsy and test the waters.

No testing the waters here, you must have said print in perfect listing condition before submitting it to the powers at be. (and don't get me started on the ridiculous reasons why they haven't accepted some of my products. That is another trial in itself...)

So after all this hoop jumping, and then to have received this insulting email, the spoilt brat in me was stamping their feet and wondering why the hell I should invest more of my energy into a company who didn't seem too invested in keeping my business. Business that I give back to them, no matter how meagre my scraps of commission are that they receive. 

I had paid to be with this reputable company, and not only having paid an upfront fee I paid commission on each of those sales. Now, I know what I agreed to when I signed up with notonthehighstreet, and I knew the commission and the fee went back into their advertising campaigns, their support team and the networking events they run. I was totally fine with that because that made sense. 

Service + Product = £££ to pay out

However, what doesn't make sense to me is to treat myself (a paying partner) like I'm a freeloader. I'm not using the site for free, I'm paying to be with them. A customer. I'm not just using up the time of paid hardworking team members and gleaning profit from the sale of my products without paying something back into it. 

Look at it this way, you wouldn't be refused something that you've paid for in a shop simply because suddenly the shop decided that you just couldn't have it, for whatever reason they chose.

Imagine if, God forbid, Netflix told you that even though you're paying to use their services, they've deemed that 10 hours of usage a week is not enough and you can't use the service unless you up your Netflix binging.

Let's pray that will never happen. 

I may have tweeted NOTHS in the heat of the moment, to the in justice of it all, and credit to them they arranged for someone from the company to call me to discuss the matter further. 

And she was about as useful as a hat with the hole in the top. 

So a week passed and then my suspension email arrived: 

I thought I would feel more eager to fill in said questionnaire and restore my shop but I decided no. Why should I keep investing my money in a company who clearly doesn't seem to value my business?

Couple this with an atrocious incident of stealing a personal photo from another partner who had been suspended in order to generate PR and sales, and I decided that I had enough of complaining about them and thought it was time to make a clean break. 

This was the perfect moment to start a new journey and take my business down a new and more personal route: To invest more energy into my own shop and carry on with the most supportive selling platform I've ever used, Etsy.  

The past 3 years have not been lost, and I am grateful to NOTHS for the support and help I received in learning about trends, mood boards, product development and product photography.

I guess some relationships just aren't meant to last, and I wish them all the success in the next steps of their business. Truly. I'm not sure the way they're running their business is the best way to go about it, but I hope they seriously know what they're doing for the sake of the employees who maybe don't know what the experience is like on the other side of the market place; as a partner. 

To all of you reading this who are considering selling with them: Do your research. This is just my own experience, and no doubt there are other partners out there who have had a totally different one.

Negotiate the fees with them. Confront them about experiences you've heard. Gauge what they're going to do for you after you've parted with your very hard earned money. 

To all of you who do sell with them: I hope you can get the most out of your experience with NOTHS. I hope your business can flourish, and I hope you have better luck with them than I did. 

Keep hustlin' guys ✌🏻

Valentine's Picks

It's that time of year again, where the glitter, red and gold comes out and the roses, bears and chocolates seem to be bought in bagfuls.

Wether you love it or loathe it, I truly believe Valentine's Day is for everyone, not just for couples. Love is not just boy meets girl/boy meets boy/girl meets girl - it's friends who stay with you till midnight because you're scared of your new flat, or that guy friend who always has your back. Or, as was my case, it's your Grandad who still writes you 'secret admirer' Valentine's cards even after 21 years of doing so. 

So however you want to express your love to whomever you desire, here are my favourite Valentine's cards on Etsy and Notonthehighstreet who are doing it so much better than the high street. 

It doesn't have to be the obvious mush. Sometimes it's the honest feelings, and this is something that myself and my husband say to each other often. [Card and image by Old English Co.]

And if you literally can't deal with any level of mush, then this is the ideal card for emotion introverts. [Card and image from Darwin Designs.]

Forget words, and just send some gorgeous art. I love that this design can literally be used for anything - and those colour combinations?! Dreamy. [Card and image from BBIllustration.]

And if you really like something traditional, then this card has everything you need. [Card and image from Constance and Clay.]

And finally an essential Galentine's card [Card and image from Veronica Dearly.]

I've been working on a new Valentine's Collection which I'm really excited to say is now available through Etsy, Notonthehighstreet and in my shop; For every kind of love and every kind of celebration. 

The Art of Living (and Blogging) Slowly

It's taken me a while to dust off the old blog and begin getting into sharing posts with you lovely lot again. I've had so much I've wanted to share, but as always, not so much of time going around these days. 

Since I last blogged there's been some pretty big changes around here. There is now a baby, a 10 month old baby, careering about like a little drunk person whilst she's learning to walk. And although I've been back at work full time for the past 3 months I've only just got a handle on things. 

The biggest takeaway from it all is just to keep things s l o w. 

Having Ophelia has made me understand now that I literally cannot be everything to everyone, and I simply cannot do everything all at once. So I'm choosing to live slow this year, and that is the only resolution I'm making. 

The funny thing is now that I'm choosing to go slow, I'm finding that things are actually getting done. They might not be completed in the lightning quick fashion I usually want them done, but they're getting done. Not perfected, but done. 

And I'm actually illustrating more for pleasure, rather than getting bogged down with the admin and the emails and the accounts and the algorithms and the Pinterest trawl. When you suddenly lose all the time you had before, you really come to appreciate and treasure the rare time that you do have when you're not being something to someone. 

So if you're finding yourself starting this year frantically trying to accomplish all your goals by February 1st, take a breath, be rebellious and just say fuck it. 

If you're trying to sprint to the finish line, you'll miss the view on the way. 

National Treasures Food Map Illustration

Grab yourself a copy of this month's Asda's Good Living magazine and you'll be able to see one of my illustrations as a double page spread! 

I had the pleasure of working on this commission from Hearst publishing for a wonderful piece on some of the UK's best food products (I'm all over the Rodda's classic clotted cream) and it's still so exciting to see my work in print, on the shelves nationwide!

This piece has now been added to my Illustration portfolio, which you can browse through here. 

On another note, some of you may have seen from my Instagram and Facebook that I am officially on Maternity leave! I won't be accepting any new commissions for the time being, however my husband, Avnish, will be running my shops & website and  publishing blog posts for me whilst I'm away. If you drop me an email, he will be sure to reply ASAP. 

Rambling notes on not feeling good enough

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

— Theodore Roosevelt

Lately I've been working myself to a strict set of to-do lists to try and fit in all the work I want to accomplish before starting my maternity leave.

I've been pretty chuffed with how well I've been hitting those targets; completing photoshoots, listing new products, re-working my wholesale catalogue, building a brand new e-commerce site and sorting out lots of niggly little behind the scenes things that essentially I want fixed and sorted before my leave. 

Nothing gives me more satisfaction than marking a little 'x' next to those completed tasks. I feel like a total champion of the to-do list world.  

But there's been a problem. 

It just doesn't feel like I've done them good enough, or even that anybody particularly cares about them. Launching my brand new shop didn't get the excited response I was hoping for; Re-photographing my entire product range hasn't had any effect on my sales or customer engagement; releasing new products hasn't yielded any sales or interest. 

The past week, as I finish my work and switch off my mac at the end of the day, I sit back, and wonder, 'what am I missing?'. I get this exasperated, defeatist sensation roll over me where I just want the universe to tell me why I'm not good enough.

I beg to someone, somewhere, to just give me the answer so I can stop living in this purgatory where I'm running on this treadmill of work ethic to try and get something back, something tangible, other than the occasional double tap or spammy account telling me how to get more followers.  

It sounds so whingey to sit here typing this. Trust me when I tell you that I'm trying really hard not to delete this whole section. But, honestly, there are times in self-employment when you're surrounded by the constant drip feed of others accolades, that you wonder why you just didn't go and find any old job.

Why put yourself through this constant misery of self-loathing and heartache, with no financial gain, or financial security?  

I poured my heart, soul and energy into all of these projects. I researched design trends, popular products and raked through surveys that I've had my own customers complete. I'm doing everything all the freelance blogs tell you to do; I've read all the books on marketing; I've even started to target my posts to be shared at times of the day when people are actually online. Which is more boring than admirable I'm sure. 

But there seems to me to be no bite. 

Maybe my work just isn't engaging anymore.

Maybe I'm just not good enough to do this anymore. 

Maybe I'm mining for my gold in all the wrong places.

Maybe I'm being a whiny little grunt about the whole thing. 

And maybe these are things that will take a bit more time to gain traction in the online sales world, and that I need to put my patient hat on and accept the lot I am given. 

I know how many sparkly emoji's I put out there on my social media, promoting positivity and upbeat posts about my work. But I'm writing this today to show you that I'm working hard on the facade I've created because I don't want any of you to know that I'm a fraud - it's not all sparkly emoji's behind the scenes. There's actually a lot of self-doubt, rumination, worry, panic and fear.

I'm struggling to make ends meet.

I'm battling feelings of being a failure and a let down because the clock is almost at 0 and what I had hoped to achieve, I haven't, and I feel like that's letting my daughter down. 

And there really isn't a good enough emoji to express all these feelings. 

Except maybe crying tear emoji, but that just feels too banal. 

If this is just TMI for you and you're wondering why this mad woman is baring her soul, and financial status, for the world to read, then I'm sorry you've had to sit and read through this. There is no follow up post (currently planned) to share my Rocky-esque rise to glory, against the odds. The odds are currently here, and I don't have a crystal ball to know when or how it will all get better.

But I've read enough Rocky-esque rise-to-glory styled books to know that this is all just my journey. I'm hoping that the winds of change will soon blow in my direction, that my scepticism will be proven wrong and that there may be a few days when the feeling of not being good enough will fade enough to give me the courage to keep on the journey I've chosen. 

And if you're still hanging around after this post, to join me on it too and feel the courage to share your truth as well. 

Let's keep going guys xo

New Year, New Things!

Well, hello 2017!

It's been almost a month since my last post, and whilst we're all over the post-Christmas blues and probably have broken nearly ever resolution made, it's been a very exciting and busy start to the year and I can't wait to share with you some of the new things that I've created and some of the new things that will be coming soon. 

There's a baby on the way...

... and there's only 7 weeks till she will be with us in the world! It's been such an exciting time in our household getting ready for our little mini me to arrive (baby shower is happening next week!) and with all the usual preparations of buying prams, cots and sterilisers (which is an absolute minefield - it's up there with navigating the HMRC website) I've been getting everything in order to take some maternity leave. 

I'll be out of the studio whilst I take my maternity leave and get to know this little creature myself and my husband created. Whilst I won't be taking on any new commissions or clients for freelance work, I will still be keeping my shops open to take your retail and wholesale orders, which leads me to....

A new member to the team! 

My wonderful husband has *insanely* offered to run my online stores whilst I'm on leave, fulfilling your orders, answering any of your emails and even helping out to run my social media. He does work full-time as a graphic designer as well, so please be gentle with him as his response rate may be a little slow. He'll be running the show from around 2nd March, or whenever I can prise myself away from my desk to have the baby (maybe I'll just do some order packing from the Labour Suite ...).

All shipping lead times will be extended during this change over period, and whilst on maternity leave, so be sure to check when you can expect to have your orders delivered. 

New things in the shop

I'm really excited to be working on a lot of lovely new products and designs, some of which I have now added to my Etsy and Notonthehighstreet stores. These include:

Valentines Cards

A reboot for 2017 on an old but classic illustration I created of a Sacred Heart - hand-stamped in gold on matt black card I created these to be the perfect 'non-gushy' Valentines card for those who can't quite stomach all the puns but want the romance.

Buy Valentines Cards here

Foiled A4 Prints

I got a really fun new foiling machine to play with over Christmas, so have created some typographic based prints that can be foiled in either gold or silver. Both designs have been created to inspire, spread love and generate some good karmic vibes for the year ahead. 

Buy A4 foiled prints here

Mothers Day and Easter

My full Mothers Day and Easter range will be uploaded soon, and I promise there'll be tons of flowers and rabbits for this year's offerings. As always all my cards are blank inside for your own personal message. 

A little website update

As you currently know I sell on Etsy and Notonthehighstreet, however I am currently building in an e-commerce function into this very website to make it a one-stop-shop for all things Deborah Panesar Illustrations! That means no more fussing with separate links and websites (unless you prefer Etsy and Notonthehighstreet, then by all means shop away!) and more time to browse items, blog posts and new work in my gallery without having to click to anywhere else. 

And even better I will be able to take more forms of payment which include PayPal, major credit and debit cards, and even Apple Pay. 

Sign up to my Mailing List to be the first to know when the new commerce site launches, and get your hands on some exclusive discounts and offers. 

Image courtesy of Seasonal Markets

New craft market dates for your diary

This year I will be back on the craft market circuit (yay!) and am currently booked with the Seasonal Markets team in Birmingham for the following dates: 

10th June - Summer Market
30th September - Autumn Market
2nd December - Winter Market

 

Seasonal Markets is held at:

The Bond Company 180-182, Fazeley Street, Digbeth, Birmingham B5 5SE

As always, be sure to sign up to Bloglovin' to follow my blog for new posts and updates as our crazy and exciting year ahead starts to kick in a gear!

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2016 Life Lessons

I actually can't believe I'm sat here, writing to you with only a few more days left of 2016. This year has, by far, gone quicker than any year I can remember and yet at the same time it was the most arduous and gruelling year I've experienced to date. 

It's not hard to get sentimental, retrospective and thoughtful about the past 12 months when faced with the idea of a fresh 12 months ahead. We all love a do-over, a chance to redeem ourselves for not spending the year in the way we 'should have done' with this sparkly eyed dream that we'll somehow crack this thing called 'life' and we'll look back on 2017 with dewy eyed pride that it had been a great year and we are truly greats amongst mere men. 

That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself, but yet we still do it every January 1st with long resolution lists, credit cards armed ready to sign up to gym memberships or juicers aligned perfectly in your kitchen ready for all those green blends you're going to make before heading to work, walking the dog and hitting said gym. And all before 6am, of course! 

As a freelancer it's easy to apply these borderless, unattainable and what I like to call 'quicksand' goals to your own business. 

'Make more sales!'
'Have more stockists!'
'Be known online!'
'Get more likes!'
'Be as successful as [insert favourite creative you lust over]'  

These goals, that have no measure, that are open and that allow you to keep shifting the goal posts can only pull you down in a quicksand way. Before you know you're drowning in your own unattainable goals you'll be fighting against your own judgement, limits and health till you're swallowed whole by them. 

Trust me when I tell you, that I can vouch for this first hand. 2016's biggest gift to me, alongside other nuggets of wisdom, was this realisation which I feel now is more of a tool than a sad realisation. 

After reading Lola Hoad's inspirational blog post 'What I've Learned in 2016' I felt inspired to share some of the things that I've learnt from the past year which I've decided to use as my 'resolutions', or more fittingly my 'personal reminders'. 

You can withstand more than you think you are capable of

When I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in June I wondered how I would survive it. I didn't believe that I would - I felt un-fixable, broken and extremely lost in a world that seemed to have it all figured out.

Only 4 weeks later I then found out I was pregnant, and after having only started my first of 20 sessions of CBT I didn't know how I would cope with living a life that was filled with this sadness and darkness alongside a new life that was new, frightening and completely unknown. 

When a week later we thought we had lost our baby I didn't then know how I would cope in a world without the new life that was new, frightening and completely unknown. And what it would all mean if we did lose the baby - that perhaps my depression and anxiety had been the cause and I had effectively taken that life away. 

And after a year of poor sales, a slowed down economy and some daring financial investments that were seeing no return I didn't know how I would cope with all this internal stuff, body morphing internal stuff, as well as an uncertain financial future that was swirling all around me on a daily basis. 

Yet, I did, I have, and I still am surviving. I survived all those things I didn't think I could. I stood in the eye of the storm and weathered it, despite the lack of faith I had in not only myself but my fate. 

Everyone has limits, and that's ok

Everyone has a point where they decide they can't go any further - a limit that tells them that from this point onwards it will be only trouble. For a long time I didn't know this limit, I believed that somehow I was above that and that I almost didn't deserve to think I could say no when the time was right. So I would keep working or burning myself out until I became unwell physically or mentally. 

But remember all the stuff I mentioned before? All that stuff has forced me to learn to know when I'm reaching my limit before I end up on the road to burnout. Most importantly, I'm learning that it's ok. It's ok to know that you can't do everything, whether that's for others, for your loved ones, or for clients and customers. We are just humans.

Phase out the negative energies in your life

I've come to see that I allowed a lot of negative energies into my life, and these were just limited to people but also to objects and habits. And the trouble with negative energies is that if you aren't strong enough in your resolve for what you want in life, in your values, then you'll keep letting these negativities keep driving your life. 

So I've been on a negative energy diet in business and my personal life. 

All the practises that weren't bringing me joy, that were wasting my time or were fruitless for business, they've been ditched. The biggest thing I've ditched since Boxing Day is my Facebook. It truly has sucked the very life out of me, so I've waved bye-bye to countless analytic checking, planning posts to be published at the optimal time, trying to concoct varied content and the days filled with frustration as to why I haven't gained more followers in 12 months than I have after having the damn thing for 4 years.

Facebook can honestly do one, I'm ready to see the next big thing. 

I've also started to cut ties with certain people in my life who did nothing but bring me down - People who aren't bad human beings, but who I don't have a connection with anymore. People who don't seem to have the same values that align with mine. People who make me feel guilty, who attack me, who have nothing positive to say. People who would rather check up on my life via Instagram rather than just send me a text to ask how I'm doing.

I'm sending those people all the positive vibes for their life - I wish them well, I wish them happiness, but from now on I need to cultivate an environment for myself and my daughter which fills us with joy.

It's nice to take a backseat sometimes  

I've always been a 'do-er'. I always want to organise things, help people, save them from making mistakes or from suffering heartache. I want to be able to control life in a way that's not meddling but more with good intentions. 

2016 has made me learn to sit in the backseat for once and to stop trying to always take the steering wheel. 

Amazingly, wonderful things happen when you stop trying to control every aspect of your life; Plans still get made, deadlines still get reached, and funnily enough the whole world doesn't fall apart. In fact, you can be surprised by what people can pull out of the bag, or even what offers are made when you don't work on a knee jerk reaction. 

Taking just 30 seconds to catch a breath and think, 'Do I need to react to this now, or plan to be proactive now?' can make all the difference to stop you from falling into the controlling trap. I've found that it's allowed people to surprise me, and for business to run smoother rather than the sensation of frantically trying to plug all the leaking holes. 

Truly embrace just being you

You can try to be like someone else, whether that's another business person or someone who follow online, but ultimately no one does you better than ... you. There is no set recipe for fame, popularity or even financial success, and emulating someone else through the extremely filtered lens of social media does not guarantee that you'll end up with the same rewards that they have reaped. 

Ultimately, you can only be you. The life of trying to live like someone else will only drain you out, or bore you before it comes to that. Seriously, life is really just too short to try and trace it off the blueprint of someone else's. 

What you may not also realise is that someone may be tracing your blueprint too. You might read this and think I'm in no position to make that assumption, but as the old adage goes 'there's always someone who has less than you.' That doesn't have to mean financial though - They may have less followers, less blog readers, less sales, less access to opportunities or even less confidence. 

There is plenty we have that we can sometimes take for granted or just not appreciate the value of, which to others are what drives them or fills them with jealousy. 

So just say 'fuck it' and be yourself - all the things you love, hate, wear, eat, listen to, read or do. Enjoy them, shout about them, be proud of them. Ultimately people will buy more into your brand and identity when it's genuine, and if you lose followers along the way then they just weren't your tribe. 

Nothing comes to you

This feels like such an obvious one, yet I fall into the trap time and time again. You can't sit in your studio and expect your inbox to be full of enquiries when you haven't put the graft and time into putting yourself out there into the world. 

It's easy to think that this is what happens with other freelancers or illustrators, but let me tell you that you're not seeing the hours put in every week to chase every lead, to email any kind of potential client, or create promotional material to post to agencies. Magic happens when you put some spark into it. So go create sparks wherever you can - create a list of dream clients and start working on making connections, or go to networking events to get to know the local businesses in your area. 

Stop sitting and waiting for life to come to you, but seek it out. Rejection is a very strong possibility, but is a better outcome that waiting around for something to happen, and the frustration that comes with it. 

I encourage this practise more so when you actually have work, so that when that client has finished you have leads to carry you through the quieter times. Stay proactive. 

Above all else... 

Remain grateful for everything you have received over the year. In finances, opportunities, friendships, experiences and objects. So Thank You, each and every one of you who have purchased from my shop, read my blog, double tapped my Instagram photos or hired me for freelance work. You keep the dream alive and allow me to keep living a life I've always dreamed of. 

However, or whatever, you plan for 2017 I hope it's one filled with adventure, daring, bravery, happiness and authenticity.

Wishing you a Happy New Year,

Cats in Wonderland

It's finally happened - I contributed to my first ever colouring book! And what better business to create artwork for than for Lady Dinah's Cat Emporium - London's top cat cafe where each of their cats have their own profile on the website that perfectly describes each of their unique personalities. 

I was asked to contribute a page of kitty inspired colouring artwork alongside other favourites Gemma Correll, Ella Goodwin, and Linkachuu to name a few. 

Gemma Correll for Cats In Wonderland

Abbie Gregory for Cats in Wonderland

I wanted to create something that incorporated all the lovely cats of the cafe (it was too hard not to choose one!) and create a montage/pattern page. 

The colouring book is exclusively for sale through Lady Dinah's website and you can even choose to add crayons, or have it as a gift set.

I've been so lucky to work with some amazing clients, like Lady Dinah's, over the year and am excited to see what 2017 has in store. This isn't my last post of 2016 so you'll be hearing from me again on the other side of Christmas with a bumper blog post sharing some highlights from an insane 2016.

So it goes without saying I hope you enjoy some lovely time off with your nearest and dearest, and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas! 

Create More Than You Consume

When I turned to the last month of my Get To Work book, wondering what the inspiring graphic would be, I found my initial reaction to it quite surprising. 

It read: 'Create more than you consume' 

And it touched something in my brain, a memory or feeling, that I've been coming back to a lot recently. This past year - aside from my obvious ruminating which comes with my anxiety - I haven't been able to stop mulling over why I just don't seem to feel like I'm creating enough.

Everyone around me was making and creating and innovating and dreaming at an exponential rate (it seems) and all I could keep doing was going back through all those well worn paths of thought and habits; sitting on Pinterest and mooning over illustrators who I admired, taking in how they created their images, their use of colour, of contrast, or sitting on Instagram and just letting myself be overwhelmingly impressed and jealous, in equal amounts, at other designer makers who just seemed to be creating. 

But this little take away card, found in the back of my diary, felt like the answer to all my problems: Create more than you consume. 

Too much time had I spent steeping myself in the world of others, trying to understand their work, to be inspired by it, to be immersed in it, and not enough time was given to creating my own work. Time given to sit, be creative, let ideas flow, and to play. 

My CBT sessions have highlighted to me my absolute need to control and perfect, and how sometimes that stops me from doing anything because I'm just too scared to start and for it to be wrong. But by taking that path of least resistance, the one where you sit and observe from the sidelines, you don't allow yourself to be apart of the world and will forever just be a creative wallflower. 

Switch off your phone for an hour, put on your favourite music, and just let yourself be in a moment to create and to not be judgemental of it. Mentally turn off the mental chatter as you turn off your notifications and watch something magical happen. 

Perhaps in this one small change there can be inspiration to be free in other aspects of our lives. Whether that is in our relationships, our beliefs or with some old and worn habits, we can feel more accomplished when we stay mindful in the present activity and just be with it.